To pick up the story properly from where I left off and to do one of those “last time on the BGC’s O&Ls blog…….” refreshers I am, you may remember, no longer working with the majority of the rest of the crowd and am instead fighting my way through the remnants of Andy Murray supporters to my new labour location of Wimbledon.
The rest of the crowd are still eeking out a living on the banks of the river Thames by Tower Bridge and there has only been one change of any note in the membership of this unruly bunch of reprobates.
Cast your minds back the Monopoly Tour? Yes? No? Whatever, well one of the main movers and shakers was Nicole who decided to crush the dreams of certain IT workers by leaving the country and getting away as far as possible by moving back to New Zealand and attempting to establish herself as a new-age professional surf board polisher. But God (or the lord of surf boards) moves in mysterious ways and in a matter of days after I left my old work, she returns to take up her old job as if nothing has happened……..
Hang on…….wait a moment…..having just written that all down, let’s resummarise the facts. She comes out on the Monopoly Tour. Fleas to the other end of the world. I leave work. She comes back…….anyone would think there’s a conspiracy going on here!
Big shiny gherkin.
Anyway, back to the tour. The one advantage of me working so far away from the city, out in the suburbs now is that there was no need to hang around at work waiting for people to finish and to finally get down the first pub. This time I just instructed them to all meet me at the Slug & Lettuce opposite St Mary’s Axe, better known as The Gherkin and the usual rounds of fun and frolics would commence from there.
I'm smiling here cos I've not actually go in the place yet.
You may have read about my opinions about Slugs and Lettuces before and this unfortunate example and excuse of a pub was no better. In fact it was far far worse. Leaving aside the fact that it wasn’t bursting at the seams in any way shape or form, I was still made to wait a good ten minutes at the deserted bar before the barmaid dragged herself away from adjusting the lights to serve me with a disgusting pint of London Pride. How this place has managed to obtain Cask Marque accreditation is a mystery I certainly won’t be revisiting this place to get to the bottom of that particular conundrum.
So whilst the liquid based welcome was pretty dire, the welcome from the rest of the tourists was a little more heart-warming. There was a rather healthy turn out, one that would have put several of the previous tours to shame. From the old team Buddy Rob, New-Guy Micky and Kambiz were present and correct and from the fairer looking side of the office, Gemma, Natasha, Brenda, Lucie, Isabelle, Lisa & Jade were all looking their normal stunning selves. We’d even picked up a couple of more fair-weathered tourists again in the shape of Charmer Palmer, Lee and Gemma’s “special” friend Sam.
So with the reunions all completed and being told I hadn’t greeted Nicole as lustily as everyone seemed to have expected I should have, there was nothing else to do but hurry everyone out of the pub before suffering any more appalling beer and make the short hop round the corner to the church of St Helen’s Bishopsgate. This particular church had been built back in the 12th century and those thoughtful ancient architected had created a handy courtyard area that allowed us to huddle together for the long awaited “church talk”.
But, what a minute, what’s this……..oh you guys! They’ve only gone and all produced cut out moustaches on straws. Oh what a wheeze! (Actually I was quite touched………..no, not in that way!)
Awwww, look, the gang's back together!
Anyway back to St Helen’s. Apparently this is the only church in the City of London which has been built from a nunnery still in service. It contains more monuments than any church in Greater London apart from Westminster Abbey and survived the Great Fire, both World Wars but had its roof blown off by an IRA bomb in the early 1990s.
There was just time for a moustachioed posed photo by the church door before we said goodbye to half of the tour, the younger ones it must be noted who still believe in beauty sleep, whilst the rest of the more mature members cut through to Creechurch Lane and the fabulously named Old Tea Warehouse.
Outside of the Old Tea Warehouse
Thanking my lucky stars that the beer range was 600% better than that at the Slug & Lettuce those of us who required ale-based refreshment could take advantage of the house brew, The Old Tea Clipper Ale which was lovely well balanced bitter that certainly hit the spot for Brenda and I. Nicole went for the Red Squirrel Conservation Ale which was described as “flavoursome and fruity”…….that’s the beer presumably, not Nicole. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Old Tea Warehouse Pumps.
But on the beer front, the most impressive was Gemma who plumped for an impressive trilogy of Brooklyn Lager, Kirin Lager and Palm Ale, which came in a nice branded glass.
After the first pint I explained the proposed route to Brenda as we pondered whether to move on or stay for another one. The next two pubs were meant to be The White Horse in Houndsditch and another Slug & Lettuce in Stoney Lane but she soon pooh-poohed these as potential locations but did approve of the final location of The Bell in nearby Middlesex Street.
I had no problem with this as The Old Tea Warehouse was more than a pleasant place to stay and a pint of Conservation Ale (“flavoursome and fruity” – that’s me and not the beer) made the stay all the easier.
The walk to The Bell didn’t take long at all even with the fact that we had to miss out the two potential pubs on the way. It’s a funny old place from the outside mixing a classic corner pub location with a sign that twinkles and sparkles in the light and reads “Ding Dong” when looked at from the right angle. Mind you it’s a funnier place from the inside with a mixture of stuffed animals, deer skulls and other random artefacts adorning the walls. It also features a heavily tattooed pink-haired barmaid which certainly brightened the place up.
Well blow me down, if it isn't the BGC and the O&Ls tour.....
The beer range was smaller, just three ales on, but certainly the pints of Harvey’s Sussex Bitter than Brenda and I took part of were in top notch condition and at least we continued to fly the real ale flag whilst everyone else flip-flopped back to lagers or vodka based fun drinks.
Harvey's Sussex Bitter - The choice of champions.
So with one eye on the Argentina vs Holland World Cup semi-final Mickey brought the thoughts round to some form of edible sustenance and I was dutifully dispatched to the bar to collect some sort of “crips” [sic]. The pub was selling those classic wheat based snacks, Bacon Flavour Fries, Cheese Flavoured Moments and Scampi Flavour Fries. I asked for one packet of each to which the barman gave me a respectful nod and said, “Ah….the triple hey? Good choice.”
The participants of "the triple" about to be devoured.
It might have been a good choice but as Shania might have once sung, “it didn’t impress Nicole much” who bemoaned the fact that apparently there was a secret supply of Monster Munch also on sale and no other deep fried calorie laden nibble would do. Seeing as this was her “welcome back” tour I relented and was extremely happy to shell out a whopping £1.10 per bag on both the Pickled Onion and Roast Beef flavours.
Still I guess in retrospect this might have been a good bargain for the Harvey’s pint glass that somehow fell into her rucksack of a handbag and was transferred to me on the concourse of Liverpool Street Station. Not quite Brief Encounter, but hey……….good to have her back!
Oh, and if you want to read what happened on the exciting journey home, just mosey on over to the best blog about travelling on trains since the year dot.
